What is the role of the mother of the bride in a wedding? Is there anything for her to do other than the mother of the bride speech? Who plans the wedding? Who stands by the bride? There are many roles for the mother of the bride. The stress is at its highest during the preparations for a wedding. Tempers run high. Emotions run high. It is a roller coaster ride. As the bride’s mother the one thing you need to remember is that it is your daughter’s wedding not yours. Do not take control. Let her make the decisions, only help in what she asks of you.
The following are some of the roles for the mother of the bride in the preparations of the wedding:
- Help your daughter choose her dress – only if she asks for your help.
- Help your daughter send out the invitations – only if she asks you to.
- Help your daughter choose the flowers – only if she asks for your input.
- Help your daughter choose the food for the reception – only if she asks for your help.
- Write out your mother of the bride speech making sure it is in good taste.
- Help your daughter and her future husband prepare the guest list – if they ask you to.
After the bride has chosen her wedding dress and the colors for her bridesmaids’ dresses the mother of the bride can choose her dress for the wedding. The mother of the bride will want to know the color scheme for the wedding so her dress does not clash with the others. She can shop for her dress while the bride’s dress is getting altered. She may want to invite her daughter to help her choose the dress. As preparations are being made for the wedding she can make notes to add to her mother of the bride speech.
Maybe there will be some funny incidents while making decisions that would add some humor to the speech. It would be good for the mother of the bride to include the mother of the groom in some of the preparations. This would help them to get acquainted, especially if they do not know each other.
Preparing the guest list for a wedding is a huge challenge. This is a great time to include the mother of the groom. It would be helpful if you made a list of all the bride’s relatives and friends of the family, and the mother of the groom could prepare a list of the grooms relatives and friends. After the preliminary lists are made it will make it much easier for the bride and groom to check the list and mark off the names they prefer not to invite to their wedding, keeping in mind the budget and how many guest you can accommodate. Weddings are so much more stressful when the expenses exceed what the bride’s parents can afford. This causes unnecessary stress. Make notes of these guests to ensure you need to include any of them in your mother of the bride speech, such as those that will be traveling far or the elderly.
If the bride asks for your help in choosing the flowers for her wedding, then do so but remember it is her wedding and let her choose the flowers, you are there only as her support. If she wants white calla lilies and you think red carnations are more appropriate, let her go with the calla lilies. She deserves to have the flowers she wants. Let her have her dream wedding, but let her be aware of the cost and stay in budget. Compromise if you go over budget on flowers you may be able to cut costs on the decorations or food.
The mother of the bride needs to know where her role begins and ends in her daughter’s wedding. She needs to step back when the bridesmaids step in. There are some things the bridesmaids need to be responsible for, such as, the bachelorette party, by this time the bride’s mother is probably ready for a break from the wedding planning. Sit back, relax and breathe. Remember to thank the bridesmaids when you give your mother of the bride speech. The bride’s mother needs to make sure she is attending all of the events concerning her daughter’s wedding. This is one time in your lifetime when you will probably party till you drop. Don’t spread yourself thin. Spread the wealth; let anyone who is willing to help assist you. Don’t try to do everything yourself. You need to filter out the things that someone else can do and be there to support your daughter. Be available when she needs you.
The bride’s mother has been there from birth, to toddler, to preschool, to kindergarten, through elementary school, middle school, high school and college. From the time you first looked into her beautiful eyes you fell in love with her. You watched her go from sitting to crawling to walking to running. You cleaned scraped knees, lost teeth, and cuts and bruises. Some of these incidents can be worked into your mother of the bride speech.
One thing that is sometimes overlooked in preparations of a wedding is the engagement party. It is almost as stressful as the wedding itself. There is a guest list that has to be made the same as for the wedding. Usually the engagement party has the same guest list as the wedding, with a few exceptions. Keep your notepad handy for more notes to add to your mother of the bride speech.
The bride’s father is there for support through all the preparations. Although his role in the wedding is a lot less involvement, he is there when needed. Sometimes a daughter just needs her daddy to lean on when it gets too stressful. In my mother of the bride speech, My little girl is getting married.