When there is the first time to become the mother of the bride, or in other words to see your daughter getting married, things change a lot in your life. Your emotions become a lot, they overflow your heart and soul and all you can think of are the preparations and the things that will come with the wedding, the guests and other organizing things.
It is important to be able to overcome your emotions. Letting your daughter go might just not be the easiest day from your life as a mother, but it is definitely a day that you have seen coming from the very first day you had a daughter. Having a daughter carries various responsibilities, but it is important to know that having her also means that you must learn to let go and to accept that she will now be taken care of by another man. Learn How to Create and Deliver the Wedding Speech by Examples
Whether you agree with your daughter marrying the man of her dreams or not, it is still her life and her choice. Why be against it, when all you can do is cause fights, hatred and other unpleasant things? It is a lot easier for you to go with accepting it and your daughter will still remain your daughter, no matter what she does. It is important also to not make the groom feel embarrassed or hurt due to your attitude (which might reveal that you don’t like him or didn’t accept him and will not be a pleasant experience at all.
However, if you manage to overcome your emotions, your potentially unwanted behavior and the attempt to control your daughter in times when you should be letting her go, then you are ready for your bride’s mother speech.
Remember that you need to start preparing your speech in time. If you don’t do that, you will have a pretty hard time saying a good speech. The success of the mother of the bride speech doesn’t necessarily stand in the weight or style of your words (like being too formal or other extremes like that), but it rather stands in how much you have dedicated to prepare the actual speech and also stands in the ability to properly stand out and talk, delivering your bride’s mother wedding speech in a way you should.
How to prepare for the Bride’s Mother Wedding Speech
Preparing for the speech involves many aspects, such as being well-organized and knowing what you want to say.
The very first thing you must do is gather your thoughts to be able to decide what you are going to say within your speech. All you have to do is note these thoughts down on paper, so that you know how to deliver the final speech. If you complete these steps, then you will easily know how to organize your thoughts.
However, organizing the thoughts never completes simply in a couple of days. Thus, it is very important, crucially important to simply be able to take the necessary amount of time and make notes.
Taking your notes always helps you. Think about all the stress, all the pressure that is present near you, it simply disallows you to enjoy the moments. And, obviously, you can’t really get rid of these things, because you must make all of these happen. Your daughter has a lot of preparations, and between two locations and between two actions involving the preparations of your daughter you are finally able to write 2-3 more lines of your mother of the bride speech.
Also, don’t hesitate to ask your girlfriends out for a coffee or tea, and then you can discuss all details with them. Women are really good in things such as preparing stuff, organizing things and being good with words. Thus, the best advice you can possibly get is from your girlfriends, especially if they are women who have always been there for you, since you knew them.
The bride’s mother speech preparations can also include a bit of mother-daughter time, meaning that you can spend some time with your daughter and ask her about her recent feelings, emotions and thoughts. Thus, you will know what she is going through and within 1-2 sentences of your speech, you can mention how in some moments your daughter had difficulties but also mention that she can know that you are always there for her, as a mother and as the best friend.
Then you will need a bit more than what I mentioned above. Let’s discuss further details in the below parts of this article!
Getting the mother of the bride speech to fit the structure
There is no possibility to write or present wedding speeches without a good speech structure. Let us study the structure and make sure that every part is understood.
Introduction of the speech
Here, you will introduce yourself and welcome the guests. Yes, most of the guests know who you are, but others might not know, so it’s fair to tell people that you are the mother of the bride. For example, you can say something like this:
My name is Monica and I am the mother of Sarah. I am so joyful to finally stand here and greet you all, I am really happy that you are here. I saw the face of Sarah and John, so they are happy about it too. I want to thank you specially, Robert and Martha, because I heard that you travelled 19 hours to get here.”
As you can see in this example, it is fairly easy to have an introduction, but you definitely need a bit of expressivity and formalism, to politely and accordingly present this part.
Talking about your daughter
This is the longest part, the most important part you have in your speech. Every mother of the bride speech will be focused on the bride, because after all, she is your daughter and she is now on a journey with no return, a positive journey we are all meant to start on (sooner or later).
Here, you must completely avoid saying embarrassing parts, because even if some things might feel funny for you as her mother, it might just put her in uncomfortable situations. Thus, the best idea to have, the best thing to go with is saying some cute stories and letting your daughter know that she can always count on your help, even if she makes wrong decisions in life. It is very important for a newly married couple to know that they can count on parents, because otherwise they might feel shame or other contrary feelings, which can easily lead them to count on other people’s help instead of yours.
If you have any negative thoughts, if you feel like you don’t agree with some parts that the bride and the groom are involved in, you should never mention these during the mother of the bride speech. You might think that you are right or you might be right about it, but the fact is that only positive things are to be mentioned.
For example, here is something you could say:
“So, as you probably know, Sarah is now 25 years old. Yes, I know, time passed so quickly! But, I can never forget how much of a sweetheart she has always been.
I remember that she was like 5 or 6 years old, when she had entire days to play with dolls and small cups of tea and coffee. She simply filled them with cocoa powder or tap water or any other liquids she could find in the kitchen. And then, she would just call me and ask me in the sweetest possible voice to play with her. She always liked to play the mother and the father with the dolls, so it was the first time I realized that one day she will become a great mother. But when she played, she said some things that made me feel shocked, on a positive note, because these were things of a great maturity and she was only like 5 or 6 years old.
By the time she went to school, she had many girlfriends. She always liked to hang out with them, to go to some pajama parties (obviously, supervised by parents, because they were all little girls), but her social skills definitely started showing up back then. So, I can now understand what’s with all you girls here who apparently are all between 20 and 30 years old. I am glad you all came, welcome!
I remember that Sarah met John when she was 20 years old. He was her first boyfriend and obviously it was the best choice she could’ve possibly made. Sarah always had a sense of decency, she never got into extremes with John. They only hang out within timeframes of good sense and he always walked her home. When we met John, they were dating for like 6 months already and we liked John, isn’t it, Brian? (Brian is the name of the bride’s father)
So, I am happy for this union, really! They are a perfect match, they have similar personalities and they definitely look beautiful together!”
Talking about the groom or the couple
While you can choose to talk about the groom, many mothers here will choose to only talk about the couple. Why? It is better and easier to talk about the couple, also putting focus on the importance of the groom. Similarly to the above presented example of what to say about the daughter, you can talk about the couple on a positive note, making sure that the importance of the groom’s presence is not left out.
As you can see, the structure of the mother of the bride speech is pretty simple, you only need to make sure to fill it up with content.
Words of creativity or others
Then, before closing the speech, you can talk about wisdom, great advices on marriage in life or other things of a similar note. You can also be creative and have a short presentation, or after all, about anything goes here!
Toast proposal – closing the mother of the bride speech
There are a bunch of websites and other resources that can help you come up with a great toast proposal. Make sure that the proposal you say is not copy pasted from somewhere else, because you need to make it feel personal. However, it is okay to learn other people’s style and how they expressed their thoughts and their intentions.
You can also watch video materials online, from sites such as YouTube, to make sure that you master the art of toast proposals
Final requirements and closing thoughts
The last but not least thing we have to mention is the length of your mother of the bride speech. You can write and say longer speeches, but never exceed 5 minutes of talking. Then, you might wonder why I am saying this. The fact is that people don’t have as much patience as you assume they would. They will have patience to smile and to listen to your thoughts, but after only five minutes of speaking they will be thinking something like “Okay, when this thing is going to end? I am so bored!” Yes, this is a reality and many people who didn’t believe it, got to taste it!
So, my best advice is to have the mother of the bride speech prepared in time, making sure that you say everything that needs to be said, but all by respecting the speech structure I have presented above. Other than that, with the right words, the guests’ attention is all yours!